I have a hard time trusting.
Haven't always been this way. By the contrary.
But I feel so unsafe, so insecure, that trusting and believing is an ordeal.
I can point to some reasons why, but I don't think they're enough. They aren't such big deal, but still. I have been fighting this. It's winning, dough.
Why?
I've always been strong, although with lack of self esteem, but never like this before.
I tend to caught people lying and with contradictions, and it isn't a choice. I just do. I sense lies and contradictions and it infuriates me to see people doing that and thinking that they get away with it. I hate people thinking that I'm dumb. So I also tend to tell them that I know they're lying. I confront them. And sometimes I rather not.
But still, this has always been a god thing. To detect lies is good. But by doing it I started to feel insecure and not trusting people that much.
I have to oppose to this. Because I'm the one that gets hurt at the end of it all. Not the liers, not the ones with bad story telling. Me.
And it's controlling my life. Being suspicious all the time doesn't give me a brake.
I have to give myself a brake.
Not to make small issues a big thing. I just can't do it any more.
I have a hard time letting go.
I need to learn how to embrace all things in life. Lies and bad stories come with it.
I also need to believe in myself more. That, I think, is the key to everything.
Anyone who has me in their lifes are blessed. Pure lucky people. I have to be the one believing this before anyone else. I have to believe when people say I'm beautiful. When people say I'm, special. When people say that they aren't lying to me.
I have to see everything in a little lighter light or else, it will continue to darken.
Right?
Right??
Help me to be a better and happier person. I need to survive this feelings. Because they bribg worse ones along. Jealousy, suspiscion, etc. I don't want to be like this.
Haven't always been this way. By the contrary.
But I feel so unsafe, so insecure, that trusting and believing is an ordeal.
I can point to some reasons why, but I don't think they're enough. They aren't such big deal, but still. I have been fighting this. It's winning, dough.
Why?
I've always been strong, although with lack of self esteem, but never like this before.
I tend to caught people lying and with contradictions, and it isn't a choice. I just do. I sense lies and contradictions and it infuriates me to see people doing that and thinking that they get away with it. I hate people thinking that I'm dumb. So I also tend to tell them that I know they're lying. I confront them. And sometimes I rather not.
But still, this has always been a god thing. To detect lies is good. But by doing it I started to feel insecure and not trusting people that much.
I have to oppose to this. Because I'm the one that gets hurt at the end of it all. Not the liers, not the ones with bad story telling. Me.
And it's controlling my life. Being suspicious all the time doesn't give me a brake.
I have to give myself a brake.
Not to make small issues a big thing. I just can't do it any more.
I have a hard time letting go.
I need to learn how to embrace all things in life. Lies and bad stories come with it.
I also need to believe in myself more. That, I think, is the key to everything.
Anyone who has me in their lifes are blessed. Pure lucky people. I have to be the one believing this before anyone else. I have to believe when people say I'm beautiful. When people say I'm, special. When people say that they aren't lying to me.
I have to see everything in a little lighter light or else, it will continue to darken.
Right?
Right??
Help me to be a better and happier person. I need to survive this feelings. Because they bribg worse ones along. Jealousy, suspiscion, etc. I don't want to be like this.
1 comentário:
Right!!
Well, I know that when, at least a few persons, told you that you're beautiful and special, that they proved it somehow, showing some facts and not just theories.
Lies will exist, some will hurt because they come from those we do no expect to; others can harm us more professionaly or socially. All the other lies SHOULD... if not able to be ignored... should be able to make a judgement of one's intentions or profile, and just that. And with that, we make our decisions and if the others don't like it... too bad, next time do not lie.
Of course this is better said than executable. And now I've remembered those stories of people that are always lying, lose credibility and when the time to call for help arrives, nobody believes him/her.
You know that you have my support, even if i've to start tell you lies untill death just to you get use to them and ignore them as much it's desirable ;)
Kiss
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